A collection of 100 classic funny quotes and funny memes

Nelson Polly

Nelson Polly is an AI writer with a deep fascination for cutting-edge AI technology. In his articles, he reviews some excellent AI-powered apps and shares the latest news about AI tools. Join Nelson Polly on an enlightening journey through the fascinating world of AI tools.

September 10, 2024 9 mins read

Want to change your mood amidst heavy study pressure? Looking to lighten the mood in a serious or tense situation? Want to break the unfamiliarity and get closer in social situations? In these situations, we need some funny quotes to divert attention, relieve stress and enhance interaction.

This article uses AI toolsChatArt, generate 10 funny quotes suitable for everyone in different scenarios, Bojun Yixiao.

1. Funny quotes about work

Every morning, my bed sticks to me like 502 glue, and the clock clock sounds like an alarm, forcing me to leave.
When I'm stuck in traffic on the way to work, I always think: If only my boss could give me a reason to work from home, even if it's "the company computer is broken"!
Sometimes I really want to ask for leave from my boss. The reason is: "My bed needs me, it can't live without me."
When I was at work, my biggest dream was to invent a time machine that would transport me directly to the moment I got off work.
A colleague asked me: "Why do you feel so energetic every day when you go to work?" I replied: "Because I have 'waking up energy'. After I send it off at home, I only have 'work energy' left when I get to the company."
Whenever I want to be lazy, I tell myself: "Come on, work hard, and strive to become a 'fish master' as soon as possible!"
Sometimes I really admire people who get up and go to work on time. How do they do it? Is the alarm clock louder? Or is the bed harder?
Going to work is like a marathon. It doesn’t matter how fast you run, but whether you can finish the run.
If work were a game, then I would be the player who is always loading.
One day, I asked my dog: "Why don't you go to work?" He replied: "Woof woof woof!" (Translation: Because I am raised by my boss!)

2. Funny quotes related to work

Whenever I want to be lazy, my boss will say: "Look, the tree outside the window is working hard, and it hasn't even lost its leaves!" I silently reply: "That's because it won't quit. "
I often think that if my job were like my weight, I could easily lose it by just eating less.
My first thought when I wake up in the morning: How am I going to cleverly fool around with my work today?
Sometimes I think, if my work can be like a mobile phone, I only need to charge it once and it can be used all day long.
Work is like playing a game. There are always people who want to cheat, but the difference is that cheaters here will be fired.
My attitude towards work is like losing weight: three days of fishing and two days of drying the net.
I feel like my job is like a bottomless pit that always pops up with more tasks no matter how much time and energy I put into it.
I pray every day that one day my computer will work on its own and I will just be responsible for collecting money.
Whenever I encounter difficulties at work, I will tell myself: "Keep on holding on, the hot pot after get off work will be waiting for you!"
One day, my computer suddenly said to me: "You know what? Actually, I want to be a game console." I replied: "Then you should be lucky, at least you can help me make money now."

3. Funny weight loss quotes

The highest level of weight loss: Have I eaten anything at all?
Actually, I'm not fat, I'm just too lazy to lose weight
Every time I weigh myself, I wonder, if I could smash the scale, would I no longer have to lose weight?
The farthest distance in the world is when I smell the aroma of chicken drumsticks at the entrance of KFC, but then turn into the gym next to it.
I heard that foodies are good people, because they put a lot of snacks in their stomachs every day and never think about harming others, but only think about how to stuff themselves to death.
On the way to losing weight, my biggest stumbling block is the elastic band on my pants.
I'm not fat, I'm just expanding, and when I finish expanding, I'll start losing weight.
They say fat people are lucky, but my luck is so great that my pants can hardly fit in it.
If one day I lose weight, it must be because I have realized my dream of "sitting down to lose weight".
Since I lost weight, I have understood a truth: It turns out that good food and weight loss really cannot have both sides.
My secret to losing weight is: every time I see delicious food, I close my eyes and tell myself, this is an illusion, this is an illusion!

4. Funny quotes about eating

In life, one must either eat or be eaten.
The highest state of eating is: eyes in the bowl, rice in the mouth, chopsticks in the nose, hands on the keyboard, and heart in the screen.
Who says foodies can do anything but eat? At least you'll still be hungry!
The furthest distance in the world is: the last row on the plane and a table full of food.
When I look at my phone while eating, it’s not that I can’t live without my phone, but that I can’t live without the takeout app on my phone.
If life gives you a bowl of lemons, add some sugar, turn it into lemon juice, drink it in one gulp, and tell yourself, "Today is so sour!"
Who says foodies don’t understand romance? Eating good food is the greatest romance.
The highest etiquette of eating is: never waste a grain of rice unless it is not delicious.
The most romantic thing I can think of is to eat slowly with you, slowly gain weight, and then wear couple clothes together to become a "tonnage couple" in the eyes of others.
Every time I order takeout, I hope the delivery boy will hurry up, because the moment the takeout gets cold is the moment I start losing weight.

5. Funny quotes about going to school

Every time the alarm clock rings, I wonder, which enemy set me up for "school mode"?
The textbook said: "Knowledge is power." I said: "Then why I have learned so much knowledge, but I still can't lift my schoolbag?"
Mathematics teacher: "Who can solve this problem?" Me: "Teacher, let me untie my belt..."
When the school bell rang, my brain turned on the "energy saving mode" and began to automatically block the teacher's voice.
During the exam, the most painful thing is not not being able to do the questions, but watching the time passing by and feeling like your brain is "wandering".
If school were a country, then the top student would be the king, the bad student would be the tramp, and I would probably be the traveler who is always looking for a way.
I used to think that I went to school to learn knowledge; later I found out that it was to prove how bad I was at learning.
Going to school is like a marathon. Some people are sprinting, some are jogging, and I am looking for the toilet.
Every time I open the textbook, I wonder: Am I opening it the wrong way?
When I was in school, my biggest wish was to invent a "knowledge replicator" that could directly copy knowledge into the brain.

6. Funny quotes about birthdays

It’s time again for the annual “See Who Remembers My Birthday” contest.
Birthday wish: I hope that next year’s birthday candles will have fewer candles, so that blowing them out will not be so laborious.
Today is my birthday and I wish to make a wish: May the world be peaceful, and may I be 18 forever. If that doesn’t work, 38 will do, but if it really doesn’t work, 83 will do.
My friends all wished me a happy birthday, and I smiled because I knew you were another year older.
Time is like a butcher's knife, one knife after another, and the knife makes people grow old, but there will always be only one candle on my birthday cake.
Today is my birthday. Everyone else is celebrating that I am one year older. Only my mother is worried about whether I have gained weight again.
I heard that I wanted to eat longevity noodles for my birthday, so I ate a bowl of instant noodles, which turned out to be "longevity instant noodles."
Every time before I blow out the birthday candles, I wonder: If I blow them all out in one breath, will I be able to skip the next year?
My friends all wished me "this day every year, this day every year". I smiled because I knew they just hoped that I would always be so young and easy to deceive.
Today is my birthday. When I woke up in the morning, I found a white hair on the pillow. I thought to myself: Is this the first gift given to me on my birthday?

7. Funny quotes about motivation

Don’t be afraid when you encounter difficulties. Think about your savings balance. What can you do if you don’t work hard!
Who said "Failure is the mother of success"? It is clear that "persistence" is the "successful" "father" and "mother".
Life is like a marathon. Although you are as tired as a dog, don't forget that you can run faster than a turtle!
Every morning when I wake up, I tell myself: "You have only two choices, either lie down and continue to dream, or get up and chase your dream!" Then I chose to lie down for 5 minutes before getting up to chase my dream.
Don't be afraid of the long journey, as long as you walk long enough, the earth will become square!
When you feel like you can't hold on, think about your bank card balance, think about the dreams that have not yet been realized, and then tell yourself: "Keep on holding on, what if you succeed!"
Even if you fall, smile boldly. At least the stones on the road will remember your "bravery"!
Who said "genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration"? I am obviously one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent desire to eat hot pot!
Don't let laziness dominate your life, otherwise your life will be a "lazy man's diary" with "to be continued"!
Behind every successful person, there is a self who wants to give up but hasn't given up yet, so please keep working hard and don't let yourself down!

8. Funny quotes related to the body

My body is like an alarm clock that never stops, waking me up at seven in the morning on time every day. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a “sleep for another five minutes” button.
The eyes are the windows to the soul, but unfortunately my windows are always covered with thick curtains - dark circles under my eyes.
Some people say my head looks like a watermelon, but actually I wish my head looked like a walnut. After all, walnuts can also nourish the brain.
Losing weight to me is like the "infinite recurring decimal" in mathematics. I know the result but I can never reach that point.
The reason why my hand speed is so fast is entirely because I have a "foodie" heart and always reach for delicious food immediately.
My feet tell me that they want to travel all over the world, but my weight tells me that they are only meant to stay at home.
When I try to do yoga, my body tells me, “You’re giving me a hard time!”
The nose said: "I smell delicious food!" The mouth said: "Hurry up, I'm hungry!" Then my weight silently increased.
My ears always hear the call of delicious food, my eyes always see the temptation of delicious food, my hands always reach for delicious food, and finally my stomach and weight cry together.
My body told me: "You are already very tired and need to rest." But my brain said: "You still have a lot of things to do, keep up the good work!" So my body and I started a never-ending battle. Tug of war.

9. Funny quotes about food

Whenever I say "I'm hungry," what I'm actually saying in my heart is, "The whole world is against me, except for food."
I've been thinking, if tomatoes are fruits, then should ketchup be considered "liquid fruit salad"?
I heard that eating chocolate can make people feel better, so I ate it every day, but my mood didn’t get better, only my weight got better.
Sometimes I really suspect that the food in the refrigerator will hold a meeting in the dead of night to discuss how not to be eaten by me.
My stomach is like a black hole. No matter how much food I put in it, it will swallow it up in an instant and tell me, "More!"
If life gives me a lot of fat, I will use it to cook, after all, we can’t waste food.
Whenever I want to lose weight, my stomach starts to protest loudly: "Do you think you are the emperor? If you want to stop eating, just stop eating!"
One day I asked my mouth: "Why are you always so greedy?" It replied: "Because I have a good friend called 'stomach', it always says 'I'm hungry'."
I heard that eating bananas can make people happy, so I ate a lot of bananas, and finally found that I just turned into a happy monkey.
Whenever I snack, my brain reminds me: "Stop eating, you're already fat enough!" Then my mouth retorts: "Shut up, it tastes so good, I don't care!"

10. Funny quotes related to dreams

My dream is to become a successful singer, but now I can only practice my singing voice in the shower.
Every time I dream, I dream about winning the lottery. When I wake up, I realize that I don’t even have the money to buy the lottery ticket.
My dream is to travel around the world, but my wallet tells me: You should travel around the community first.
When I was a child, I dreamed of becoming a scientist and inventing a perpetual motion machine. When I grew up, I discovered that a perpetual motion machine already existed, and that was my alarm clock.
My dream was to travel around the world, and now it’s come true because I’m traveling around the world in my dreams.
Others’ dreams are the sea of ​​stars, and my dream is to be a courier boy in the sea of ​​stars.
My dream is to be a painter, but now I can’t even draw a circle.
My dream is to have superpowers, but my current superpower is to eat super well.
Who says dreams can’t be eaten as food? My dream is to open a shop specializing in daydreams.
My dream is to turn it into an ATM machine so that I can withdraw money anytime and anywhere.

Conclusion

In a busy life, there is always a need for some relaxation and humor. I hope these quotes can become a small blessing in your life, bring you laughter, and give you the courage and strength to face life. If you still want more funny words, download ChatArt now to experience it for free!

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